Don't Ph34r the Reaper
Don't Ph34r the Reaper is the eighth episode of the series. Characters Red Team *Simmons *Grif Blue Team *Church *Tucker *Caboose *Sheila Plot As the Rookie figures out how to activate the auto-fire sequence in the tank, Grif and Simmons stand there motionlessly until Simmons tells Grif to make a run for it together at the count of three. At the same time, Church tells Tucker he is going for the Reds' warthog. While Simmons slowly counts to three, Grif leaves early and starts running towards the warthog, only for Simmons to notice after he finishes counting, in which he is annoyed. Once the Rookie manages to activate the auto-fire mechanism, the tank deactivates the tutorial mode and begins to systematically target and destroy everything present. Sheila, the tanks artificial intelligence (AI), subsequently hits the warthog, sending it flying, before Grif and Church make it to the vehicle. Church retreats back to the rock and both Grif and Simmons continue to flee in panic. They quickly and successfully evade the ongoing cannon fire and hide behind a rock, with Simmons thoroughly angered towards Grif. Noticing that the Rookie is operating the tank, both Church and Tucker praise him, but Church unexpectedly becomes the next target, however, and is killed when the Rookie fails to deactivate Sheila's auto-fire sequence in time; Tucker then accuses the Rookie of team-killing. Transcript Sheila's turret is pointed at Grif, then it turns to Simmons. '' '''Grif:' Why is it just sitting there? Simmons: Just trying to mess with our heads. Let's get back to the Warthog. Cut to Sheila's HUD. Sheila: This tank is equipped with an auto-fire sequence that can be activated by pressing the auto-fire button. Caboose: Auto-fire, auto-fire, here, here! No, wait... okay, that's more a switch than a button... Sheila: (in the background) This will end the tutorial, and should only be activated if proper safety procedures- Cut to Simmons and Grif. '' '''Simmons:' Okay, you ready? Let's do this on three. One... Grif: Wait. On three? Or three and then go? Simmons: On three. It's always faster to go on three. Grif: Okay, okay. On three. Cut to Sheila's HUD. '' '''Caboose: '''Here! ''(click) Sheila: Tutorial deactivated. Auto-fire sequence activated. Cut to Simmons. '' '''Simmons:' Ready? Cut to Sheila's HUD. '' '''Sheila:' Acquiring target. Cut to Church and Tucker. '' '''Church:' I'm going for the jeep. Cover me. Cut to Simmons and Grif. Grif is backing away. '' '''Simmons:' One... Grif turns around and starts running away. The view cuts to Sheila's HUD, her crosshair following Grif. '' '''Sheila': Target acquired. Cut to Grif running. Grif: (panting heavily) Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit... Cut to Simmons. '' '''Simmons: '''Two... ''Cut to Sheila's HUD locking onto Grif. Sheila: Target locked. Cut to Church running toward the Warthog. He's panting loudly. Cut to Simmons. '' '''Simmons:' Three! (turns around and sees Grif running away) Oh, you back-stabbing cock bite! Sheila: Firing main cannon. Sheila fires and blows up the Warthog right in front of Grif. '' ''Cut to Simmons. Simmons: (crouches next to Sheila) Son of a bitch! Cut to Grif. Grif: SON OF A BITCH! Cut to Church. Church: (near the explosion) Son of a bitch! Sheila: Firing main cannon. Simmons: Shit! Sheila fires. Simmons: ''(indecipherable)'' Sheila: Firing main cannon. Simmons: Dammit! Sheila fires. Sheila: Firing main cannon. (fires) Cut to Church running back up to meet Tucker. '' '''Tucker:' Hey dude, the jeep blew up. Church: No kidding. Thanks for the update, Tucker. Cut to Grif and Simmons hiding behind a rock. '' '''Sheila:' Firing main cannon. (fires, hits the rock) Simmons: (mocking Grif) Hey, I have a GREAT idea. Let's get out of the jeep and sneak around the back of the rock. Sheila: Firing main cannon. (fires, hits the rock) Simmons: 'Great plan, you idiot! ''Cut to Sheila's HUD looking over the rock. '''Sheila: All targets eliminated. Acquiring new target. Her crosshair starts panning up and to the left. '' ''Cut to Church and Tucker with Church standing in the open looking down at the tank. '' '''Church': Hey, Tucker, look at this, man - it's the rookie! And he brought tank out to scare off the reds. Tucker: What? No way! Church: Hey, rookie! Good job, man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank? Sheila: New target acquired. (spinning turret around to aim at Church) Cut to Sheila's HUD, her crosshair slowly panning up the cliffside at Church. '' '''Caboose:' That's not a target. That's Church! Church: Yeah, that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on, man? Sheila: (locking on to Church) Target locked. Cut to Caboose in the driver's seat. '' '''Caboose:' What!? No! Target unlock! Unlock! Please help me, nice lady! Cut to Sheila. Sheila: Firing main cannon. Cut to Caboose. Caboose: Uh oh... Cut to Tucker. Tucker: Uh oh... Cut to Church. Church: What? ..Oh, son of a bi- Church is shot and launched into the air. His body hits the rock face and lands back on the ledge. Cut to Tucker. '' '''Tucker:' Holy fuck! Church, are you okay? Talk to me! Church! Cut to Sheila. Tucker is visible on the cliff in the distance as he yells at Caboose. Tucker: You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard! Sheila: Auto-fire sequence deactivated. Church: (dying) Tucker! ...T-Tucker! Tucker: Church! It's going to be okay, man. Church: No. Ah... I'm na-I'm not gonna make it. Tucker... there's something I need to tell you. Tucker: What is it? Church: I just want you to know.. I always hated you. I always hated you the most. Tucker: Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick. Church: Okay. Herk!...Bleah... Trivia *This episode marks the first time the musical intro by Nico Audy-Rowland is used. Videos Don't Ph34r the Reaper|Original Don't Ph34r the Reaper - Episode 8 - Red vs. Blue Season 1|Remastered Category:Season 1 Category:Episodes